2008

my new years resolution?

work hard.
play hard.
enjoy life to the fullest.

it's christmas eve.

i miss my dad. i miss home. i'm surprised at myself for actually calling someplace home. it's been a while since i've felt like anywhere was home. it is definitely the people who make a place feel like home.
i want to be around my friends right now. around people who can help me take my mind off that fact that my dad is gone, that life just isn't the same anymore. i'm not trying to avoid things, but you can only take so much. all there is to do here is think and i don't want think about it anymore.

i came on here with the intentions to write about something else. to write about getting to know someone. about not judging a person because of their past, not using their past against them, but realizing that someone's past is what has made them the person they are today. get to know someone for who they are right now, not who they used to be.
i've become friends with people and had others give me their opinions on those people based on what they were like in the past. while the past has had some influence on who that person is today, that isn't the person i see. that isn't the person i've become friends with. we've all made mistakes, most of us have been someone we don't like for a period of time. we're all at that age where we're finally figuring out who we are. we're finally growing up.
people change.

harry potter

i need to study up on my harry potter. i just totally lost at harry potter scene it. i am very disappointed in myself.

i did get the newest harry potter movie for christmas though. yayyy!

cows, frogs & bobs

i made a new friend today. we haven't actually met, but according to his license plate his name is bob. bob drives a porshe and is very good at weaving in and out of traffic and was very fun to follow. i followed bob for a good 2 or 3 hours (it was a long drive, i lost track of time). bob may have thought i was a crazy stalker trying to get him for his money, but bob was too old for me. maybe not for my mom...hmmm. too bad i don't remember the rest of bob's license plate number.
anyway, i lost bob because we got off the 10 and took some side highways to avoid phoenix. the side highways were fun because there were lots of straight aways where you could see ahead for miles...meaning you could see if there were cops or not waiting up ahead to pull you over. didn't see any. can you say 90 + miles per hour? i saw 90 + mph on my digital speedometer for a good 15-20 minutes until my mom looked over and saw how fast i was going and yelled "giulia! watch your speed! you already have 2 speeding tickets!" and i said "mom! there is nothing around...you could see if there was a cop from 3 miles away!"...thats when it happened! i hit my breaks (i didn't have to slam on them because nothing was directly in front of me)...we were in the middle of nowhere arizona, absolutely NOTHING around and there was a cow! just randomly standing on the side of the highway. a very old, wrinkly looking, brown and white cow. there were no other cows around, no fences, no farms. poor cow was probably lonely. i considered turning around to go take pictures of this cow but by the time i made up my mind we were a couple miles from the cow and i just really wanted to get to prescott.
so we continue driving through the middle of nowhere, then we get to this little town called skull valley. it was sort of creepy. there was a cemetery and my cell phone had absolutely no service. eek. right outside of skull valley was a very large rock painted like a frog. i did stop to take pictures of that. maybe i will put one up later. it was pretty rad.
seven and a half hours later we finally get to prescott. it is freezing here! it's so cold it makes my nose run and then the snot freezes and makes my nose hurt. wonderful, isn't it?
now i am very sleepy since i only slept 4 hours last night and drove the whole 7.5 hours.
so i bid you farewell...goodnight.


p.s. i totally got harry potter scene it as one of my christmas presents! who wants to play?! :)

holidays

i have to wake up in 5 hours to drive 8 hours. 8 hours in a car, just my mom and i. this should be interesting.
we're driving to prescott, arizona to spend christmas with my mom's brother and his family. i don't really want to go but i can't tell my mom that. she finally seems somewhat excited for christmas and i don't want to ruin it for her. its not that i don't want to spend christmas with my aunt, uncle and cousins, but christmas just doesn't seem like christmas anymore and i would rather be home with my friends than forced to celebrate the holidays somewhere else. that probably sounds horrible, but ever since my dad died, holidays just haven't been the same.
i miss putting a christmas tree up right after thanksgiving and decorating it. i miss turning the lights on every night and watching as more and more presents were added under the tree. i miss being excited christmas eve to wake up early and open presents even though i knew the truth about santa. i miss waking up to the house smelling like my dad's wonderful cooking and all our family and friends coming over to eat and laugh and just enjoy each others company.
i know christmas will never be the same with my dad gone, but i feel like all we do now is try to avoid remembering him around the holidays. i would rather have our own christmas at home or with my dad's family out here and miss him than try to escape the things that remind us of him.

nothing to do?

watch all 124 of these! (there may be more now)
http://www.youtube.com/Daxflame

i was really bored when i was hiding out at kosta's yesterday. i'm on #30. sad, i know.

also, GO SEE JUNO!
soooo good! i want to go see it again. the soundtrack is amazing too.
wednesday night sammy, billy, liz, ben and i went to the landmark to go see it. i've never been to the landmark before. it was pretty rad. you get to choose your seats when you buy your ticket and they have a wine and beer bar. we were going to see the 8:40 showing, but the only seats left were toward the front, so we decided to go see the 9:55 one and hung out at the bar. i finally felt like a 22 year old sitting in this nice bar drinking wine. it was weird.

there is so much i want to write about. this is my problem with these things, i want to write about important things going on in my life to get them off my chest but then i can't figure out how to put what i want to say into words and i just end up writing about my day or something boring. i always think of good things to say while i'm driving (especially when i'm stuck in traffic for 2 hours like today! grr.) but when i get around to writing them down my brain goes blank.
i think i feel the need to write about everything. maybe if i just narrow it down to one thing it would be easier. right now i'm not in the mood though.

for now i'm going to continue watching this ridiculous kid on youtube until there is something to do.




it has been stuck on this many profile views for a good 3 days now (and its not because no one has looked at my myspace)!
can't it at least go up to 600? 599 bothers me.

who to turn to?

how do you know who truly cares and wants to listen to your problems?
lately it's been difficult trying to figure that out. i feel like my friends i thought were always there for me, haven't been around much, and some of the newer people in my life are there for me more than i feel i deserve from them yet.

and how do you know who to turn to about what?
who will understand about my dad? my mom? school? my relationships? my fears?

there have been a few people who've been there for me a lot lately and i want them to know how much i appreciate their friendship. more than they could ever know.
then there have been some people who i thought would be there for me more. people who i would do anything in the world for, but lately don't feel like they would do the same back.
i think that is one of the worst feelings; knowing you would go out of your way no matter what for them, and not feeling they would do the same.

it is times like these i really start to miss my dad. my dad was good at understanding people. he was good at finding the positive in things and reminding you to keep your head up. life is too short to worry and stress about things. unfortunately he had to teach me that lesson the hard way.

who i'd like to meet:

someone who seems exactly like they are.

honestly?

i don't know why i've started this. i should warn you: i'm horrible at putting my thoughts into words.

its 2:15 in the morning. i have to wake up at 7:30, but i can't sleep. my sleep schedule is beyond ridiculous.

i keep hearing noises coming from upstairs. kosta says its zombies. that would be rad, but can they come back another night when i don't have to wake up early in the morning for work?

my stomach hurts. i don't know if its from stress or the food i ate for dinner. either way, it needs to go away.

i guess i'll try to sleep. tomorrow i will try to write about something interesting.

maybe the zombies will come downstairs and i will have a good story to tell you.





favorite postsecret for this week: