oh my

in an hour and 8 minutes i'm going to be old.
24 years old.

sigh.

tired of everything.

i just don't care anymore.

boise

i <3 you.

wind, wind, go away...

the wind is making creepy noises outside.
i don't like it.

anyway, watch this video:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

it's so true.

if you're not prepared to be wrong,
you'll never come up with anything original.

-ken robinson

all children are born artists,
the problem is to remain an artist as we grow up.

-picasso

it's starting to feel like spring

it's finally been sunny and warm the past couple of days.
today i was able to enjoy one of those days and it was the nicest of all.
it got to be about 75 degrees. it was perfect.
mark and i hiked all the way to the top of table rock.
the hike pretty much kicked my ass, but it was worth it.
it was nice just being outside, in the sun, not freezing.
neither of us had our phones on us.
just the company of each other and some water.
it was nice to be away from the world for a couple of hours.
i even got a little bit of a tan.
yay for the possibility of not looking like a ghost again!

i'm excited for the summer.
i've decided that in about a week and a half i'm going to put my 2 weeks in at best buy.
it's just not worth the stress anymore.
there are a few people i will miss there, but i'm sure i'll still get to see them.
there are a couple of people that i will not miss at all.
some people just need to grow up.

it's still nice out. i don't know why i'm sitting inside doing this.
i should be on a bike ride right now, but my bike isn't here...
:(

maybe i'll go sit on top of the hill.

i don't know what to do

everytime i think about it i feel like someone just punched me in the stomach.

promise me you wont hurt me.
promise me everything you tell me is true.
promise me you'll let me know if something changes so i don't feel like an idiot.

you ask how much i like you.
i tell you i really like you.
you ask, how much is that.
i tell you a lot.
you ask, how much is a lot.
i want to tell you how much that is,
but i wont until i know you feel the same way.
i hope you feel the same way.

i'm past the point of no return.
if it all goes downhill, it wasn't meant to be and i'll understand that,
but i'll be heartbroken.

i believe it will work.
i believe you wouldn't hurt me.
i believe the things you tell me.
i believe in us.

california.

i'm here.
it's weird.
things just aren't the same. not that i expected things to stay the same, but...well i don't know.
it was really nice to see a couple of people though. i do miss some of my friends.
it was also really nice having dinner at my aunt and uncles and seeing my cousins. i miss parker!

tomorrow it's off to oklahoma. woohoo?

i'm anxious to go back to boise.
i miss it.
i miss someone.

i'm hoping this roadtrip will be fun though.
we stuffed the mini cooper. it's so packed, my mom and i got new shoes today and had to figure out where to put them. hah.
speaking of...i went into the van's store on topanga for the first time. the one that looks super old.
i never knew they made vans in so many colors! it was amazing!

anyway...

goodbye california.
hello oklahoma.
idaho, see you soon!

happy birthday daddy.

i miss you more and more everyday.
i would give anything to give you one more hug,
to hear one more of your stupid jokes,
to listen to one more of your lectures,
to go on one more of your long "shortcuts",
to go fishing with you one more time,
to go on one more job site with you,
to eat your delicious cooking one more time,
to hear your voice one last time.

i love you daddy.
i know you're in a happier place watching over all of us.



Fisherman's Prayer
_____________________

God grant that I may live to fish,
until my dying day,
And when it comes to my last cast,
I then most humbly pray,
When in the Lord's safe landing net,
I'm peacefully asleep,
That in his mercy I be judged,
As big enough to keep.

kallusive sound escape tee

the chaos of the world we inhabit is all too often overwhelming,
boxing us in,
trapping our abilities.
close your eyes and put on the headphones
and let the music take you away.
step inside a world where you are truly uninhibited,
free from the noise,
free from the chaos,
free from the chains that hold you back.
drowning out society,
your fears and anxieties pushed to the side,
break free and let your inner voice be heard.
leave your mark.

back to being happy...

please just leave us alone.
stop with the "warnings" and the stories.
we've heard them all.

let me find out for myself.
let me be happy.

it's not fair.
what have i done to any of you?

i think i like you...

i think i like everything about you
and i'd think about you
if i ever got a chance to meet you
would you ever notice
would you ever think to notice my affection
and if you ever noticed
i'd make sure you were headed in my direction

and if you feel the same
then give me the time of day

and you'll call me
wonderful and lonely
those are two words
that don't go together
i'm a free bird
free bird fallin' down for you
and i'll do
whatever i have to
to get through to
to get through to you
i don't know when
i'll ever give up on you

i think i like you
i'd like to know everything about you
what would i get if i got you
what would i get if i decided to see you
could you make me a promise
could you lead me to believe i'd never worry

never give up on me,
and let me fly to you

and if you feel the same
then don't be playin' games

and you'll call me
wonderful and lonely
those are two words
that don't go together
i'm a free bird
free bird fallin' down for you
and i'll do
whatever i have to
to get through to
to get through to you
i don't know when
i'll ever give up on you

i'm happy.

i feel like everyone is against this.

why can't you just be happy that i'm happy?

or accept it and let it be.

i really need you

i need my best friend and my daddy.

why do you both have to be gone?

i know i could get ahold of adam if i really needed to, but still...why can't you just be a simple phone call away?

and my daddy...i would give anything to be able to talk to you. i miss you more than anyone could imagine.
everyday i wish you were here with me.

oh and...

happy birthday mom!

like i said, you don't look 60!










p.s.
the new lily allen cd:
at first i thought it was just okay, but now it's really starting to grow on me.

who'd of known?

a week ago, i probably would have told you you were nuts.



it's five o'clock in the morning
conversation got boring
you said you'd go into bed soon
so i snuck off to your bedroom

and i thought i'd just wait there
until i heard you come up the stairs
and i pretended i was sleeping
and i was hoping you would creep in with me

put your arm around my shoulder
and it was as if the room got colder
and we moved closer in together
started talking about the weather

said tomorrow would be fun
we could watch a place in the sun
i didn't know where this was going
when you kissed me

are you mine?
are you mine?
'cause i stay here all the time
watching tele, drinking wine
who'd of known?
who'd of known?
when you'd flash up on my phone
i'd no longer feel alone
no longer feel alone

i haven't left here for days now
and i'm becoming amazed how
you're quite affectionate in public
in fact your friend said it made her feel sick
and even though it's moving forward
there's just the right amount of awkward
and today
you accidently called me baby

are you mine?
are you mine?
'cause i stay here all the time
watching tele, drinking wine
who'd of known?
who'd of known?
when you'd flash up on my phone
i'd no longer feel alone
no longer feel alone

let's just stay
let's just stay
i wanna lie in bed all day
we'll be laughing all the way
told your friends
they all know we exist
but we're taking it slow
now let's just see how we go
now let's just see how we go

let's just stay
let's just stay
i wanna lie in bed all day
we'll be laughing all the way
told your friends
they all know we exist
but we're taking it slow
now let's just see how we go
now let's just see how we go

famous?

today i was introduced to someone as:
"this is giulia. she lives at the famous 8th street house."

i can't decide if this is a good or bad thing.

i'm going to lean toward good.
i do enjoy my house and my friends that hang out here.

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”
-Jawaharlal Nehru

responsibilities suck.
i wish i could get rid of all my bills, quit work, travel the world and have fun!

the second saddest day of my life...so far.

adam and chance left this morning.
we all went to breakfast and then to the airport to say goodbye.
other than dealing with the death of my dad, this had to be one of the hardest things i've had to deal with.
i know i'm probably taking this harder than i should be, but i can't help it.
adam is one of my best friends. i love him to death, and the thought of not having him or chance around for a long time...well it just sucks.
i am happy for them though. i know they're going to have an amazing time.
i wish i could be there with them.


i love you guys.
please be safe.

hawaii is lucky.

i don't think you realize how much i'm going to miss you.

my life

dear friends, shit talkers and everyone else...

i want to let you all know that i love my life. see me how you will, i'm not going to change and i'm happy with who i am.
don't call me a slut, or something along the lines of a slut, just because i have a lot of guy friends and am really close with a few.
don't judge my friends. i've learned to surround myself only with people who bring out the best in me. we all have our flaws, but there's a reason i'm friends with them and not friends with people like you.
my friends out here are some of the best friends i've ever had. they make me the happiest i've ever been. they are the realest toward me than anyone i've ever met.
i'm happy here and if you're not one of the people i'm referring to above, i really don't care what you think.
i think i'll stay this way for a while.

sincerely,
me


and since i'm talking about good friends...

yesterday i was asked something that is probably one of the nicest things a friend could ever ask. i was talking about how when the boys get back from their hawaii/new zealand adventure i want to see them the day the return, and out of the blue adam asks me something along the lines of "when you get married, since you don't have your dad to walk you down the aisle, can i walk you down the aisle and give you away? ...as long as the guy isn't a douchebag."
it may sound weird, but i think that would be amazing.
i can't think of a better person to take that spot.