just a little piece.

oh my

2009-06-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

in an hour and 8 minutes i'm going to be old.
24 years old.

sigh.

2009-05-25T22:50:00.000-07:00

tired of everything.

i just don't care anymore.

boise

2009-05-01T20:48:00.001-07:00

i <3 you.

wind, wind, go away...

2009-04-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

the wind is making creepy noises outside.
i don't like it.

anyway, watch this video:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

it's so true.

if you're not prepared to be wrong,
you'll never come up with anything original.

-ken robinson

all children are born artists,
the problem is to remain an artist as we grow up.

-picasso

it's starting to feel like spring

2009-04-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

it's finally been sunny and warm the past couple of days.
today i was able to enjoy one of those days and it was the nicest of all.
it got to be about 75 degrees. it was perfect.
mark and i hiked all the way to the top of table rock.
the hike pretty much kicked my ass, but it was worth it.
it was nice just being outside, in the sun, not freezing.
neither of us had our phones on us.
just the company of each other and some water.
it was nice to be away from the world for a couple of hours.
i even got a little bit of a tan.
yay for the possibility of not looking like a ghost again!

i'm excited for the summer.
i've decided that in about a week and a half i'm going to put my 2 weeks in at best buy.
it's just not worth the stress anymore.
there are a few people i will miss there, but i'm sure i'll still get to see them.
there are a couple of people that i will not miss at all.
some people just need to grow up.

it's still nice out. i don't know why i'm sitting inside doing this.
i should be on a bike ride right now, but my bike isn't here...
:(

maybe i'll go sit on top of the hill.

i don't know what to do

2009-04-04T19:16:00.000-07:00

everytime i think about it i feel like someone just punched me in the stomach.

promise me you wont hurt me.
promise me everything you tell me is true.
promise me you'll let me know if something changes so i don't feel like an idiot.

you ask how much i like you.
i tell you i really like you.
you ask, how much is that.
i tell you a lot.
you ask, how much is a lot.
i want to tell you how much that is,
but i wont until i know you feel the same way.
i hope you feel the same way.

i'm past the point of no return.
if it all goes downhill, it wasn't meant to be and i'll understand that,
but i'll be heartbroken.

i believe it will work.
i believe you wouldn't hurt me.
i believe the things you tell me.
i believe in us.

california.

2009-03-16T17:47:00.000-07:00

i'm here.
it's weird.
things just aren't the same. not that i expected things to stay the same, but...well i don't know.
it was really nice to see a couple of people though. i do miss some of my friends.
it was also really nice having dinner at my aunt and uncles and seeing my cousins. i miss parker!

tomorrow it's off to oklahoma. woohoo?

i'm anxious to go back to boise.
i miss it.
i miss someone.

i'm hoping this roadtrip will be fun though.
we stuffed the mini cooper. it's so packed, my mom and i got new shoes today and had to figure out where to put them. hah.
speaking of...i went into the van's store on topanga for the first time. the one that looks super old.
i never knew they made vans in so many colors! it was amazing!

anyway...

goodbye california.
hello oklahoma.
idaho, see you soon!

happy birthday daddy.

2009-03-09T17:12:00.000-07:00

i miss you more and more everyday.
i would give anything to give you one more hug,
to hear one more of your stupid jokes,
to listen to one more of your lectures,
to go on one more of your long "shortcuts",
to go fishing with you one more time,
to go on one more job site with you,
to eat your delicious cooking one more time,
to hear your voice one last time.

i love you daddy.
i know you're in a happier place watching over all of us.

Fisherman's Prayer
_____________________

God grant that I may live to fish,
until my dying day,
And when it comes to my last cast,
I then most humbly pray,
When in the Lord's safe landing net,
I'm peacefully asleep,
That in his mercy I be judged,
As big enough to keep.

kallusive sound escape tee

2009-03-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

the chaos of the world we inhabit is all too often overwhelming,
boxing us in,
trapping our abilities.
close your eyes and put on the headphones
and let the music take you away.
step inside a world where you are truly uninhibited,
free from the noise,
free from the chaos,
free from the chains that hold you back.
drowning out society,
your fears and anxieties pushed to the side,
break free and let your inner voice be heard.
leave your mark.

back to being happy...

2009-02-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

please just leave us alone.
stop with the "warnings" and the stories.
we've heard them all.

let me find out for myself.
let me be happy.

it's not fair.
what have i done to any of you?

i think i like you...

2009-02-20T21:27:00.000-08:00

i think i like everything about you
and i'd think about you
if i ever got a chance to meet you
would you ever notice
would you ever think to notice my affection
and if you ever noticed
i'd make sure you were headed in my direction

and if you feel the same
then give me the time of day

and you'll call me
wonderful and lonely
those are two words
that don't go together
i'm a free bird
free bird fallin' down for you
and i'll do
whatever i have to
to get through to
to get through to you
i don't know when
i'll ever give up on you

i think i like you
i'd like to know everything about you
what would i get if i got you
what would i get if i decided to see you
could you make me a promise
could you lead me to believe i'd never worry

never give up on me,
and let me fly to you

and if you feel the same
then don't be playin' games

and you'll call me
wonderful and lonely
those are two words
that don't go together
i'm a free bird
free bird fallin' down for you
and i'll do
whatever i have to
to get through to
to get through to you
i don't know when
i'll ever give up on you

i'm happy.

2009-02-19T13:52:00.000-08:00

i feel like everyone is against this.

why can't you just be happy that i'm happy?

or accept it and let it be.

i really need you

2009-02-14T22:48:00.000-08:00

i need my best friend and my daddy.

why do you both have to be gone?

i know i could get ahold of adam if i really needed to, but still...why can't you just be a simple phone call away?

and my daddy...i would give anything to be able to talk to you. i miss you more than anyone could imagine.
everyday i wish you were here with me.

oh and...

2009-02-12T19:03:00.000-08:00

happy birthday mom!

like i said, you don't look 60!

p.s.
the new lily allen cd:
at first i thought it was just okay, but now it's really starting to grow on me.

who'd of known?

2009-02-12T18:53:00.000-08:00

a week ago, i probably would have told you you were nuts.

it's five o'clock in the morning
conversation got boring
you said you'd go into bed soon
so i snuck off to your bedroom

and i thought i'd just wait there
until i heard you come up the stairs
and i pretended i was sleeping
and i was hoping you would creep in with me

put your arm around my shoulder
and it was as if the room got colder
and we moved closer in together
started talking about the weather

said tomorrow would be fun
we could watch a place in the sun
i didn't know where this was going
when you kissed me

are you mine?
are you mine?
'cause i stay here all the time
watching tele, drinking wine
who'd of known?
who'd of known?
when you'd flash up on my phone
i'd no longer feel alone
no longer feel alone

i haven't left here for days now
and i'm becoming amazed how
you're quite affectionate in public
in fact your friend said it made her feel sick
and even though it's moving forward
there's just the right amount of awkward
and today
you accidently called me baby

are you mine?
are you mine?
'cause i stay here all the time
watching tele, drinking wine
who'd of known?
who'd of known?
when you'd flash up on my phone
i'd no longer feel alone
no longer feel alone

let's just stay
let's just stay
i wanna lie in bed all day
we'll be laughing all the way
told your friends
they all know we exist
but we're taking it slow
now let's just see how we go
now let's just see how we go

let's just stay
let's just stay
i wanna lie in bed all day
we'll be laughing all the way
told your friends
they all know we exist
but we're taking it slow
now let's just see how we go
now let's just see how we go

famous?

2009-02-06T18:05:00.001-08:00

today i was introduced to someone as:
"this is giulia. she lives at the famous 8th street house."

i can't decide if this is a good or bad thing.

i'm going to lean toward good.
i do enjoy my house and my friends that hang out here.

2009-02-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”
-Jawaharlal Nehru

responsibilities suck.
i wish i could get rid of all my bills, quit work, travel the world and have fun!

the second saddest day of my life...so far.

2009-02-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

adam and chance left this morning.
we all went to breakfast and then to the airport to say goodbye.
other than dealing with the death of my dad, this had to be one of the hardest things i've had to deal with.
i know i'm probably taking this harder than i should be, but i can't help it.
adam is one of my best friends. i love him to death, and the thought of not having him or chance around for a long time...well it just sucks.
i am happy for them though. i know they're going to have an amazing time.
i wish i could be there with them.

i love you guys.
please be safe.

hawaii is lucky.

2009-01-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

i don't think you realize how much i'm going to miss you.

my life

2009-01-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

dear friends, shit talkers and everyone else...

i want to let you all know that i love my life. see me how you will, i'm not going to change and i'm happy with who i am.
don't call me a slut, or something along the lines of a slut, just because i have a lot of guy friends and am really close with a few.
don't judge my friends. i've learned to surround myself only with people who bring out the best in me. we all have our flaws, but there's a reason i'm friends with them and not friends with people like you.
my friends out here are some of the best friends i've ever had. they make me the happiest i've ever been. they are the realest toward me than anyone i've ever met.
i'm happy here and if you're not one of the people i'm referring to above, i really don't care what you think.
i think i'll stay this way for a while.

sincerely,
me

and since i'm talking about good friends...

yesterday i was asked something that is probably one of the nicest things a friend could ever ask. i was talking about how when the boys get back from their hawaii/new zealand adventure i want to see them the day the return, and out of the blue adam asks me something along the lines of "when you get married, since you don't have your dad to walk you down the aisle, can i walk you down the aisle and give you away? ...as long as the guy isn't a douchebag."
it may sound weird, but i think that would be amazing.
i can't think of a better person to take that spot.

other things can wait

2008-11-26T18:08:00.000-08:00

twlight

2008-11-19T23:37:00.000-08:00

in less than 24 hours!!!

p.s.
i want to mention again how much i love living in idaho.
boise is friggin rad.
come visit me!

behind the times

2008-10-31T00:45:00.001-07:00

i've been a little behind the times when it comes to movies and tv lately. i've recently been trying to keep up though by watching all the movie trailers on the "front row" application on my computer.
i've decided i really want to see this movie:

there is a possibility that it has already come out in theaters...but i'd still like to see it.

p.s.
tomorrow (well today technically) is halloween...and i'm going to be batgirl :)

also- copeland is in 6 days! wooooo! :)

i want this to work.

2008-10-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

i really hope i can trust you and that you aren't going to let me down like all the others.

i found out some things tonight that make me nervous, but i like you. i want to give you a chance.

please don't ruin this.

why?

2008-08-30T02:55:00.000-07:00

i just told you about how i have a hard time putting my thoughts into words. how i wish i could write down a lot of things that i feel so that way i can get them out and move on.

but like i said...i have a hard time putting my thoughts into words. i want to get this all out so i can move on, but i don't know how.

i'm glad you feel you can talk to me. i'm glad we talk. i just don't understand why you talked to me about this. maybe you did it because you feel i should know, and i probably should, but it is weird for me to hear these things.

i care about you. i want you to be happy. if you are happy with her, than i am happy for you.
i just hope that if you end up back with her, we wont lose you.
i know we haven't known each other long, but i like getting to know you.
i want to be your friend.

i check postsecret every sunday

2008-08-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

its true.

time for a change.

2008-07-13T22:38:00.001-07:00

i'm moving...

to boise, idaho...

in one week!

weird. i know. i'm really excited though.
i'll finally be on my own. not just living out of the house, but actually on my own.
i'm excited to be around my friends that live out there. i'm excited about how cheap rent is!
all i need is a job, and i'm good to go!
the plan is to save up money and move to seattle soon.
i'm excited for that too!

i'm just an excited lady right now.

i will really really miss all my friends out here, but i'll be back to visit!
and you can come visit me in boise!
yea, yea i know...idaho?!
it really is fun though! you don't know til you go!

what do i doooo?!

2008-06-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

i want to move to boise.
i want to move to seattle.
i want to stay in california.

boise would be the smartest decision money wise. you wouldn't believe how cheap rent is out here! $650/mo for a 3 bedroom house!!! you can't even find a shitty studio for that much in LA.
and i really love the people out here. they're all pretty f*cking amazing.

seattle would also be a little bit easier on the wallet. plus, i just really love that city and again, the people. i'm pretty sure i could suck it up and handle the rain. the ocean is somewhat close by and there is the puget sound and lots of lakes and stuff, so living near water wouldn't be a problem.

then of course there is good old california. i love the beach. i love my friends. my family is there.

all i know is i need to move out...and i need to do it soon.

as soon as i get home, i'm finding a job and working a lot.

does anyone have some place i can live? :D

so there's this boy...

2008-06-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

i love random late night adventures.
sitting up on a rock overlooking all the lights.
seeing shooting stars.
getting scared by mice (hehe).

it's past midnight. that means we leave for seattle tomorrow!
yayayyy!

:)

best birthday ever?!

2008-06-09T15:04:00.000-07:00

yes!
thank you to sammy and her parents for letting me have an amazing pool party/bbq at their house.
thank you to everyone who came and hung out!

and thank you to my friends for being so much fun!
:)
haha.

seattle in 4 days!
boise in 8 days!

ahhh i can't wait! :)

home at 5 am

2008-05-25T05:32:00.000-07:00

i like staying up with my friends until the sun comes up.

eenie, meenie, miney, MINI!

2008-05-21T22:10:00.001-07:00

momma got a new car!

...and guess who gets to borrow it sometimes?
;)

driving home

2008-05-18T02:41:00.000-07:00

you know when you are driving down erringer toward the 118?
right as you're crossing the train tracks, there is this part where if you hit it just right, going like 40+ mph, it makes your stomach drop.
i try to go that way on purpose, just because it makes me laugh.
:)

i would just like to mention again how extremely, super, tremendously, immensely excited i am to go to seattle and boise in less than a month!!!

<3

2008-05-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

it was perfect beach weather yesterday.

run away with me

2008-05-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

i'm going to drive north and not stop til i'm happy.

i interviewed for this job in santa monica. i really want it, but i haven't heard back from them yet. i'm tired of doing sales, and i don't really want to sit in an office for 8 hours typing.
i want to quit school. i hate it. i really don't think people understand. i know everyone complains about school, but there are no words to describe how much i hate going to FIDM. i'm not trying to say it's a bad school, because it's not. it just isn't what i want to do...and i really, really hate the drive to downtown la.
i am really hoping for this job in santa monica. i would make enough money that i could move out, or enough that i could save up and then run away.
not run away from my problems, but run away to a place that makes me happy.

honestly, other than because of a few people, why am i staying here?

i would say my family, but i don't even see them! i saw them more when i didn't live here. move away from family=see them more. lame, huh?
after my dad died everyone was all about spending more time with family....for about a month. glad he could teach us a good lesson.

i just want to go to the beach,read my book, listen to music...maybe just start driving...

happy mothers day

2008-05-11T14:56:00.000-07:00

don't take her for granted.

seattle & boise!

2008-05-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

here we come!
[we = me and sammy]

seattle: june 13th-17th
boise: june 17th-23rd

its going to be totally rad! its true!

why is there nothing going on lately?
i think i've been to simi maybe 3 or 4 times in the past 2 weeks.
i used to be there every single day.
i miss you guys.
:(

son of rambow

2008-05-01T10:59:00.000-07:00

sammy, joe and i saw son of rambow last night.
good movie.
i definitely recommend it :)

i would never do that.

2008-04-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

for the record, i would never do that to any of my friends.
i know you don't know what i'm talking about. maybe i'll tell you if you ask.

i spent all of yesterday throwing up. i was pretty miserable.
today i spent the day recovering. i almost feel better.

i really need to organize my new room and get the rest of my stuff from my old room. i don't have the energy right now though.

i want some super nerdy glasses... nerdier than the ones i already have.

this summer could not come fast enough. it is going to be incredible.

okay, enough of the random thoughts.
byeeeee.

<3

2008-04-25T11:06:00.000-07:00

i miss you

2008-04-25T02:36:00.001-07:00

right now i have 43095843905 different emotions running through me and i'm really bad at putting my thoughts into words, so bare with me.
lately i've been missing my dad more than ever. i'm not really sure why. it's not like i've been around a ton of things that remind me of him or something. i think it is just because i've been going through some things and i really wish he was around to give advice or even just a hug. i miss my dad's hugs. i miss his cheesy sense of humor. i miss cuddling with him while we watched tv. i miss our random adventures. i even miss arguing about music and who gets control over the tv.
i know my dad is in a better place, but why did he have to leave me so soon? i'm only 22. he is suppose to be here to walk me down the aisle. he is suppose to be the coolest grandpa ever to my kids. i just don't understand why he was taken away from me already. it's not fair.
i wonder what my dad thinks of me now? i know he wouldn't approve of my tattoos or that i stay out til 4 in the morning, but i wonder if he is proud of me.
i also wonder if i would be where i am if my dad was still around? if my dad was still here my mom and him would be living in a house in la quinta which means i wouldn't have moved in with my mom in the valley. which means i may not have met my friends in simi.
i love my life right now. i love my friends. i just feel like a part of me is missing.
i miss you daddy.

another thing i've realized lately is that i don't really care where i live, it's the people i'm around that make me happy. i would live in antarctica if i could live near all the people that make me happy.
this past week some of my favorite boys were down here on tour. they were here for a whole week and it was awesome. it wasn't necessarily because we did anything different from what i normally do (although "touring" with them was definitely fun!), it was because they are the kind of people that bring out the best in me. they make me happy. all i do is laugh and smile when i'm around them. i wonder if they realize they have that effect on me? i wonder if they're happy around me? i'm going to stop saying "i wonder" now. i really wish i got to see them more often. who knows, when i'm finally completely on my own i probably wont be able to afford living in california, maybe i'll move closer to them. then, of course, i'll miss my friends here. i just can't win.
i really do have some incredible friends though.
thank you to those of you who are real friends and have been there for me through the hard and happy times.
i love you and i miss those of you who are far away.

i love my friends...

2008-04-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

they make my life amazing.

desert camping!

we're moving in 6 days!
man without wax comes in 6 days!
bank comes in 7 days!
my mom will be gone this weekend!

life is going to be good for a while.

i hope you come keep me company while my mom is gone.

2008-03-30T04:14:00.001-07:00

i sort of feel like i'm being used.

please prove me wrong.

celebrity weekend?

2008-03-15T22:49:00.000-07:00

it's like celebrity weekend or something...
last night i went to a party in agoura and jonathan lipnicki (the little kid from jerry mcguire and stewart little...only he's not so litle anymore) was there. i got to hang out with him. he's pretty cool.
then, the super tan stoner guy from grandma's boy, who is also in a ton of adam sandler movies, was at the little league shoot i was at today.

i feel lame. it's saturday night and i'm at home watching fresh prince ready to go to sleep by 11pm. thats what i get for staying out til 2am when i had to be up for work by 6.
it's okay...tomorrow night is spaghetti and prison break night at cali house. i've been craving spaghetti all week! and dying to find out what happens on prison break. hahaha yes, i'm a nerd.
:)

2008-03-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

tomorrow my mom and i are going to look at houses!
no more apartment living (hopefully)! yay!

piiiiiicture time:

it has wings!

puppy! leroy is a pain in the you know what, but i <3 him.

dan hits rock on freeway = dan gets new rims!

i wore my hair curly for 3 days. it was weird. maybe i'll do it more often?

i picked this flower and gave it to dan...who threw it at leroy.
=P

the end.

goodnight.

happy birthday

2008-03-09T12:27:00.000-07:00

today is my daddy's birthday.

:(

i miss you.

2008-03-09T05:30:00.000-07:00

i have no idea how i just made it home.

:/

and 4 minutes later...

2008-03-04T18:15:00.001-08:00

bank's show got cancelled.
no more vegas.

go figure.

:(

p.s.

2008-03-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

happy birthday daniel huse!

25! gosh you're old!
:D

viva las vegas

2008-03-04T18:11:00.001-08:00

if all works out, sunday i will get to go to vegas with some of my favorite boys to see some of my favoritest boys!

please let everything work out!

2008-02-28T02:08:00.000-08:00

dear mr. super stubborn immature person,

you've changed. not everyone else.
quit blaming us.
grow up and learn to deal with problems, not avoid them.

i wish you the best, but just remember, the things you do will come back to you.

goodnight.

dear mom,

2008-02-25T18:49:00.000-08:00

i'm almost 23. i lived on my own for 4 years and survived.

please treat me that way.

thanks.

evil machine

2008-02-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

i have a very serious love/hate relationship with my macbook.

its sunday afternoon. i need to clean my room. i want to work out. i want to read a book. i want to watch movies and catch up on tv shows...

...but i end up on my computer for hours!

help.

2008-02-20T16:43:00.001-08:00

i hate the way he is, but i can't stop caring.

dear you and me,

2008-02-20T01:48:00.000-08:00

dear us,

you're suppose to be one of my best friends. where are you?

i could go on for hours about you. how could you do this to me? how could you play with my emotions like that?

get over him.

he is my friend too.

don't stay with him if you're not happy.

you're fun. you're funny. you're rad. maybe i like you?

i think you're amazing. we have bad timing.

thank you for all your advice. i hope you listen to yourself.

stop leading her on. can't you see she like(s/d) you?

stop being so blind. you don't have to be lonely.

we care about you. please stop what you're doing to yourself.

stop trying so hard. i'm not going to change my mind. i'm sorry.

stop working so hard. have some fun. lets hang out more.

why are you sad? you're not a sad person.

you're cool but she isn't interested in you.

stop trying to hide from who you are.

take responsibility for your actions.

i love and care about you all.

sincerely,
me

she was like my grandma

2008-02-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

goodbye aunt mary.
i love you.
say hi to my daddy for me.

:(

skunks and lights

2008-02-07T02:15:00.000-08:00

every night, on my way home from simi, somewhere along topanga smells like a skunk...a super stinky skunk.

every night, on my way home from simi, i sit at the stop light on topanga and victory forever because for some reason it is set on a timer and not sensors. stupid stop light.

know whats going on

2008-02-05T14:18:00.000-08:00

i may be somewhat of a hypocrite writing about this since i didn't even know we are suppose to go vote today (but i'm going to go in a little bit!)...

in class today we watched 2 TEDTalks podcasts. both were photographers speaking. Phil Borges and James Nachtwey. they are photographers who travel and take pictures of what is going on in other countries. they take pictures of war, poverty, pain and suffering. both are incredible photographers who really capture what these people are going through. some of the images were extremely graphic, which is what brought me to write about this. as we were watching these podcasts and photographs were appearing on the screen, i was looking around the room and watching peoples reactions. a picture of a man who was on the verge of starvation, who was literally nothing but skin and bones, came up and many people in the class looked away. a picture of a little boy suffering from AIDS in africa came up, and again many people looked away. a picture of a man who had been imprisoned with scars all over his body came up, and many people looked away. the teacher never warned us that we would see these types of images, and many people afterward looked as though they wanted to complain. but he shouldn't have to warn us. i think everyone needs to see these things. people need to know what is going on in other countries, to know how lucky we are to live the way we live, to know that there are much bigger problems in the world than many of the things we go through. while we sit at home on our computers or playing video games or watching tv or complaining about the opposite sex or stressing about homework, people are out there dying of incurable and curable diseases but can't afford medicine. grandparents are parenting grandchildren. people are being tortured by war and their governments.
i encourage you all to educate yourselves further on what is going on in other parts of the world. realize how lucky you are to be born into this world instead of theirs.

value

2008-01-31T19:07:00.000-08:00

value |ˈvalyoō|
noun
1. the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance or preciousness of something.

2. (values) a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.

"in the end, it's not about finding someone, or even about love.
it's about improving yourself, and being your best self."

where did you go?

2008-01-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

what happened to the boy who told me "make him buy you ice cream"?

-it's raining in my room.
-i keep getting phone calls from some financial company and they're not even looking for me.
-i'm extremely confused about the opposite sex.
-i feel like i have 2 moms lately...one is enough, thank you.
-i'm pretty much broke. <---my fault. i could try harder to find a second job, but it is frustrating since i already have a job, i'm just not scheduled til the end of february.
-i almost got caught in a lie about going to san francisco next weekend, but i came clean. now i feel better and i don't have to worry about using my credit or ATM card up there.
-i went through something the past few days that i'm not going to tell you about, but @^*&*^&)#(*#@! grrrrr! <-- this leads back to being confused about the opposite sex.

sigh.

"Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return."
-T.H. White

trust.

2008-01-21T01:39:00.000-08:00

it's strange how, even though its online and you can't hear the tone of someone's voice, the same words coming from 2 different people can have such a different effect.

"you'll be okay."

coming from one person i feel like that statement is totally true and it gives me comfort. coming from another person i feel like they're saying it because they don't know what else to say and it has no truth behind it.
luckily i trust the first person more.
unfortunately i wish i could feel that way about the second person.

sigh. life is hard.

2008-01-20T17:10:00.001-08:00

i need you.

boys, aquariums and bowling

2008-01-18T16:39:00.000-08:00

do i keep trying, give up and move on, or just sit back and see what happens?

______________________________________

i'm avoiding cleaning my room to write about mine and sammy's little adventure. wednesday night we drove up to monterey and found a decently priced hotel room. thursday morning we woke up, got ready and headed to the aquarium! it was pretty rad. i thought it was going to be a little bit bigger, but it is right on the water and it was a beautiful day out. that alone made it worth it. after the aquarium we wandered around a little bit and had a mint chip sundae from ghirardelli. yes, good enough to write about.
anyway, we decided since we were that close to san francisco we had to go visit josh, so we drove to oakland to pick him up from work then drove to san francisco. we met up with some people from there and from simi at a bowling alley in pacifica. i have never bowled such a horrible game in my entire life, but it was still really fun. driving all the way home after that...that wasn't so fun. sorry sammy for falling asleep on you!
i can't wait to go back up next weekend for the ashy to classy party. i hear geary gang parties are the best.

i probably could have made this more interesting but i'm lazy. and i need to finish cleaning my room so i can feel better about being at home all day.

jellyfish at the monterey bay aquarium
photo by: me :)

spontaneous adventures

2008-01-17T02:58:00.000-08:00

it is 3:15 am and me and sammy are sitting in a hotel in monterey.
we decided we wanted to go to the monterey bay aquarium and drove 5 hours to get here. so we are waking up in approximately 7 hours to go to the aquarium. then possibly going to visit josh in san francisco when he gets off work.

yay! :)

san francisco

2008-01-14T00:26:00.000-08:00

i should have written about my trip sooner. now i don't know what to say except for it was incredible and i can't wait to go back again!

2008

2007-12-30T12:45:00.000-08:00

my new years resolution?

work hard.
play hard.
enjoy life to the fullest.

it's christmas eve.

2007-12-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

i miss my dad. i miss home. i'm surprised at myself for actually calling someplace home. it's been a while since i've felt like anywhere was home. it is definitely the people who make a place feel like home.
i want to be around my friends right now. around people who can help me take my mind off that fact that my dad is gone, that life just isn't the same anymore. i'm not trying to avoid things, but you can only take so much. all there is to do here is think and i don't want think about it anymore.

i came on here with the intentions to write about something else. to write about getting to know someone. about not judging a person because of their past, not using their past against them, but realizing that someone's past is what has made them the person they are today. get to know someone for who they are right now, not who they used to be.
i've become friends with people and had others give me their opinions on those people based on what they were like in the past. while the past has had some influence on who that person is today, that isn't the person i see. that isn't the person i've become friends with. we've all made mistakes, most of us have been someone we don't like for a period of time. we're all at that age where we're finally figuring out who we are. we're finally growing up.
people change.

harry potter

2007-12-24T16:30:00.001-08:00

i need to study up on my harry potter. i just totally lost at harry potter scene it. i am very disappointed in myself.

i did get the newest harry potter movie for christmas though. yayyy!

cows, frogs & bobs

2007-12-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

i made a new friend today. we haven't actually met, but according to his license plate his name is bob. bob drives a porshe and is very good at weaving in and out of traffic and was very fun to follow. i followed bob for a good 2 or 3 hours (it was a long drive, i lost track of time). bob may have thought i was a crazy stalker trying to get him for his money, but bob was too old for me. maybe not for my mom...hmmm. too bad i don't remember the rest of bob's license plate number.
anyway, i lost bob because we got off the 10 and took some side highways to avoid phoenix. the side highways were fun because there were lots of straight aways where you could see ahead for miles...meaning you could see if there were cops or not waiting up ahead to pull you over. didn't see any. can you say 90 + miles per hour? i saw 90 + mph on my digital speedometer for a good 15-20 minutes until my mom looked over and saw how fast i was going and yelled "giulia! watch your speed! you already have 2 speeding tickets!" and i said "mom! there is nothing around...you could see if there was a cop from 3 miles away!"...thats when it happened! i hit my breaks (i didn't have to slam on them because nothing was directly in front of me)...we were in the middle of nowhere arizona, absolutely NOTHING around and there was a cow! just randomly standing on the side of the highway. a very old, wrinkly looking, brown and white cow. there were no other cows around, no fences, no farms. poor cow was probably lonely. i considered turning around to go take pictures of this cow but by the time i made up my mind we were a couple miles from the cow and i just really wanted to get to prescott.
so we continue driving through the middle of nowhere, then we get to this little town called skull valley. it was sort of creepy. there was a cemetery and my cell phone had absolutely no service. eek. right outside of skull valley was a very large rock painted like a frog. i did stop to take pictures of that. maybe i will put one up later. it was pretty rad.
seven and a half hours later we finally get to prescott. it is freezing here! it's so cold it makes my nose run and then the snot freezes and makes my nose hurt. wonderful, isn't it?
now i am very sleepy since i only slept 4 hours last night and drove the whole 7.5 hours.
so i bid you farewell...goodnight.

p.s. i totally got harry potter scene it as one of my christmas presents! who wants to play?! :)

holidays

2007-12-21T19:22:00.000-08:00

i have to wake up in 5 hours to drive 8 hours. 8 hours in a car, just my mom and i. this should be interesting.
we're driving to prescott, arizona to spend christmas with my mom's brother and his family. i don't really want to go but i can't tell my mom that. she finally seems somewhat excited for christmas and i don't want to ruin it for her. its not that i don't want to spend christmas with my aunt, uncle and cousins, but christmas just doesn't seem like christmas anymore and i would rather be home with my friends than forced to celebrate the holidays somewhere else. that probably sounds horrible, but ever since my dad died, holidays just haven't been the same.
i miss putting a christmas tree up right after thanksgiving and decorating it. i miss turning the lights on every night and watching as more and more presents were added under the tree. i miss being excited christmas eve to wake up early and open presents even though i knew the truth about santa. i miss waking up to the house smelling like my dad's wonderful cooking and all our family and friends coming over to eat and laugh and just enjoy each others company.
i know christmas will never be the same with my dad gone, but i feel like all we do now is try to avoid remembering him around the holidays. i would rather have our own christmas at home or with my dad's family out here and miss him than try to escape the things that remind us of him.

nothing to do?

2007-12-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

watch all 124 of these! (there may be more now)
http://www.youtube.com/Daxflame

i was really bored when i was hiding out at kosta's yesterday. i'm on #30. sad, i know.

also, GO SEE JUNO!
soooo good! i want to go see it again. the soundtrack is amazing too.
wednesday night sammy, billy, liz, ben and i went to the landmark to go see it. i've never been to the landmark before. it was pretty rad. you get to choose your seats when you buy your ticket and they have a wine and beer bar. we were going to see the 8:40 showing, but the only seats left were toward the front, so we decided to go see the 9:55 one and hung out at the bar. i finally felt like a 22 year old sitting in this nice bar drinking wine. it was weird.

there is so much i want to write about. this is my problem with these things, i want to write about important things going on in my life to get them off my chest but then i can't figure out how to put what i want to say into words and i just end up writing about my day or something boring. i always think of good things to say while i'm driving (especially when i'm stuck in traffic for 2 hours like today! grr.) but when i get around to writing them down my brain goes blank.
i think i feel the need to write about everything. maybe if i just narrow it down to one thing it would be easier. right now i'm not in the mood though.

for now i'm going to continue watching this ridiculous kid on youtube until there is something to do.

it has been stuck on this many profile views for a good 3 days now (and its not because no one has looked at my myspace)!
can't it at least go up to 600? 599 bothers me.

who to turn to?

2007-12-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

how do you know who truly cares and wants to listen to your problems?
lately it's been difficult trying to figure that out. i feel like my friends i thought were always there for me, haven't been around much, and some of the newer people in my life are there for me more than i feel i deserve from them yet.

and how do you know who to turn to about what?
who will understand about my dad? my mom? school? my relationships? my fears?

there have been a few people who've been there for me a lot lately and i want them to know how much i appreciate their friendship. more than they could ever know.
then there have been some people who i thought would be there for me more. people who i would do anything in the world for, but lately don't feel like they would do the same back.
i think that is one of the worst feelings; knowing you would go out of your way no matter what for them, and not feeling they would do the same.

it is times like these i really start to miss my dad. my dad was good at understanding people. he was good at finding the positive in things and reminding you to keep your head up. life is too short to worry and stress about things. unfortunately he had to teach me that lesson the hard way.

who i'd like to meet:

2007-12-11T23:21:00.000-08:00

someone who seems exactly like they are.

honestly?

2007-12-11T02:17:00.000-08:00

i don't know why i've started this. i should warn you: i'm horrible at putting my thoughts into words.

its 2:15 in the morning. i have to wake up at 7:30, but i can't sleep. my sleep schedule is beyond ridiculous.

i keep hearing noises coming from upstairs. kosta says its zombies. that would be rad, but can they come back another night when i don't have to wake up early in the morning for work?

my stomach hurts. i don't know if its from stress or the food i ate for dinner. either way, it needs to go away.

i guess i'll try to sleep. tomorrow i will try to write about something interesting.

maybe the zombies will come downstairs and i will have a good story to tell you.

favorite postsecret for this week: